Sex toys do things humans cannot,” agrees Epiphora, a blogger who has been reviewing sex toys professionally for over a decade. “Humans don’t vibrate; humans don’t have penises made of stainless steel.” But that also doesn’t mean that toys are a replacement for, or a threat to, human relationships. Even if you use a fancy stand mixer while baking a cake, you’re still the one who baked that cake—and by the same token, the pleasure and fun of using a sex toy with a partner is often more about the partner than the toy. Ever wanted to penetrate someone with your balls? Frankly, probably not, but hey, guess what—you can! The Balldo basically turns your balls into a dildo, encasing them in a silicone sheath you can slide inside your partner's vagina or butt. There are openings on either side of the Balldo, so your balls will be stroked on every thrust. Some users—including my partner, when we tested this toy—have reported being able to have "ballgasms," i.e. climaxes from balls stimulation alone. Who knows whether "ballsex" will ever become a widespread practice, but if you're curious about it, this is the one and only toy I'm aware of that makes it possible! How to Use: Apply water-based lube to the entrance of the toy, the inside of the toy, and your penis before sliding inside. After use, remove the sleeve from the case and rinse it out thoroughly with water. Let it dry completely before re-assembling. How to Use: Apply water-based lube to your penis and to the inside of the toy before sliding inside. Reddit was, unsurprisingly, an absolute goldmine of alien fetishes, including clips of women expelling jelly eggs in a most unnerving fashion.

Pros: Pleasurable texture meant to replicate oral sex; non-realistic appearance; translucent for a better view; hard plastic case for travel and storage; fits a wide range of penises If you ask us, the best sex toys on the market today are right up there with fire and the wheel in terms of humanity's greatest inventions. Go ahead, laugh: but what is technology supposed to do besides make our lives easier and more pleasant? And let's be honest, what's more pleasant than a toe-curling orgasm? Pros: Pleasurably textured interior; translucent casing for a better view; open-ended design makes it easier to clean the toy between uses and to combine it with oral sex, handjobs, etc.; more compact and travel-friendly than regular-size Fleshlights; inexpensivePros: Adjustable; hands-free (once it’s positioned and inserted); comes with a silicone dildo; strong, relatively quiet motor; long-distance controllable; twist-dial makes it easier to find your preferred speed at any given time; can be used with many different types of dildo Pros: Stroke length and stroke speed are both adjustable; auto-stroking machine requires less effort and dexterity than using a stroker manually; can be synced up to porn videos via Bluetooth connectivity; velcro closure lets you adjust stroker tightness to fit your anatomy and preferences; stroker can be swapped out for other manual strokers if you prefer Ease of Use: 4 / 5 | Durability: 4.5 / 5 | Fun Factor: 4.5 / 5 | Features: 4 / 5 | Value: 3.5 / 5 | Overall Rating: 4.1 / 5

Pros: Rotating balls in shaft for G-spot stimulation; rumbly vibrations; three vibration speeds, seven vibration patterns, and three rotation speeds; arms can be controlled separately; waterproof Corrado recommends doing your research on toy materials (see our tips on buying your first vibrator) because some are better quality than others. Broadly speaking, you should avoid toys that are transparent or translucent as these tend to be made of materials you don’t want inside you, such as jelly or PVC. That type of toy “will be more affordable up front,” Corrado says, “but you’ll have to replace it in the long-term.” Generally, toys made of materials such as silicone, ABS plastic, glass, sealed ceramic, and stainless steel are going to be the easiest to clean, the longest lasting, and the most comfortable to use. The best sex toys for couples Sex toys allow you and your partner (or partners) to bring an exciting sensation that might not be possible with tongues, fingers, and genitals alone,” Finn says, adding that you can think of them as the sprinkles on top of an already delicious sundae. Pro tip: If you finish first and your partner hasn’t, take the Tor and place it on your middle and ring fingers while you finger her. She’ll likely appreciate the vibrations.

The Best Cock Rings

Pros: Stimulates penis, perineum and balls all at once; can also stimulate your partner during penetrative sex; increases erection strength and sensitivity; four motors for intense vibrations; 16 vibration intensities and eight patterns; can be controlled via the MysteryVibe app How to Use: Apply water-based lube to the entrance of the toy, the inside of the toy, and your penis before sliding inside. After using, remove the sleeve from its case, rinse it out thoroughly with water, and allow it to dry completely before re-assembling. This stroker attached to a device that lets you set the speed and length of each stroke, so you have full control over your pleasure even while taking a more hands-off approach than usual. One of the most fascinating features of the Handy is that you can sync it up to a porn video using Bluetooth, which is about as close to partnered sex as you can get when you're all alone. Ease of Use: 3.5 / 5 | Durability: 4 / 5 | Fun Factor: 3.5 / 5 | Features: 4.5 / 5 | Value: 3 / 5 | Overall Rating: 3.7 / 5 Pros: Allows you to penetrate your partner with your balls, potentially creating new and unique sensations for both of you; doesn’t require an erection