The Best Ever Book of Dutch Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Gift-giving isn’t a common aspect of Dutch business culture. If you’d like to give a gift to a business partner, it’s best to give something modest. It’s also best to wait until you’ve established a relationship and finalized any business negotiations before offering any gifts. Regional variations The jokes about neighbours are more good-natured, because, in practice, neighbours usually get along quite well. The Dutch actually don’t hate the Belgians at all. On the contrary; they find them their most sympathetic neighbours . That’s why Belgian jokes are mainly about the fact that our southern neighbours are a bit stupid. One of the most fun things about the Dutch language is its literal way of naming things. For example, neushoorn, literally ‘nose horn.’ The perceptive amongst you might be able to guess its meaning – rhinoceros.

What's the difference between a funny Dutch man and a tube? one is a hollow cylinder while the other is a silly hollander. A spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.” – Rhod Gilbert Humor is a very important part of Dutch culture, and the Dutch love to joke around. If you’re looking for some funny Dutch jokes to make you laugh, then look no further!Why did the Dutch chef get a Michelin star? Because he knew how to make a “molen” of delicious dishes. f**... under the bed sheets is no longer called a dutch oven. It's now called a covid test. If you can smell it you don't have covid. Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Culture Trips are deeply immersive 5 to 16 days itineraries, that combine authentic local experiences, exciting activities and 4-5* accommodation to look forward to at the end of each day. Our Rail Trips are our most planet-friendly itineraries that invite you to take the scenic route, relax whilst getting under the skin of a destination. Our Private Trips are fully tailored itineraries, curated by our Travel Experts specifically for you, your friends or your family.

Now it’s really diverse. Some of the biggest Dutch comics ( caberatiers is what we call them) are: Hans Teeuwen, Theo Maassen, Najib Amhali and Jochem Meyer. They are all known to talk about taboos and about different cultures. Wat is een dinosaurus als hij door een Nederlandse stad loopt? Een Rampsaurus! (What’s a dinosaur walking through a Dutch city? A Rampsosaurus! Ramp = disaster) Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it. A Brit, a Spaniard and a Dutch walk into a bar.. .. unfortunately the Icelander couldn't come, he's still in the European Championship. This Dutch delicacy was invented in 1919, when the director of a licorice factory decided to market aniseed-flavored grains as a sandwich filling. Over the years, many different types of hagelslag have evolved, and the best-known is perhaps chocolate. Hailstorm in a sandwich? Yes, please. NeushoornEen Nederlander zegt tegen zijn vrouw: “Johanna, giet een liter water bij de soep, we hebben gasten!” Indeed, the Dutch sense of humor can seem direct, and sometimes even crass, to those who are unfamiliar with it. In fact, to the foreign eye, their nonchalant ways may even be perceived as brutal rudeness. Een Nederlander (or as the Belgian say ‘Hollander’) werd gevraagd voor een donatie voor een verzorgingshuis. I doubt there’s a heaven; I think the people from hell have probably bought it for a timeshare.” – Victoria Wood Hoe heet de Indonesische Sinterklaas? Sint Nikker (How’s the Indonesian Santa called? Sint Nikker – Nikker sounds like the N-word)

Wat is het toetje in de hel? Bertje Vla. (What’s the dessert in hell? Bertje Vla – typical Dutch yogurt dessert) While religious teachings might have shaped the nation’s morals and way of life, the Netherlands as we know it today is one of the most secular countries in Western Europe. In fact, over half of the Dutch people say they are non-religious, according to a 2020 survey by Statistics Netherlands ( Centraal Bureau voor de Statistiek – CBS). Among those who are religious, 20% are Roman Catholic, nearly 15% are Protestant, and 5% are Muslim. Photo: NurPhoto / Getty Images There’s also some untranslatable wordplay that requires explaining. Like yelling for a “white one” in a bar to get a beer. Or the double meaning of being “on one leg” for the king. Every time I eat eggs benedict I'm reminded of my time in the Netherlands. You know, my Holland days. I was planning on splitting the dinner bill with my girlfriend But she told me she wouldn't go Dutch and Greek on the same nightThe Netherlands divides into two major geographic and cultural regions – the Randstad, and outside the Randstad. The Randstad encompasses the country’s major cities, including Amsterdam, Rotterdam, The Hague ( Den Haag), and Utrecht. As such, the culture is distinctly urban, and people tend to have more liberal attitudes. Conversely, people from outside this area are generally said to be more conservative. In the southern and eastern regions of the Netherlands, Carnaval is celebrated in February or March, featuring extraordinary costumes. The advanced Dutch learners among you may have noticed that pindakaas means ‘peanut cheese.’ So why don’t they call it pindaboter? Well, when peanut butter first came onto the Dutch market, boter could only mean real butter made from milk. Cheese, however, didn’t enjoy such protections and so pindakaas was born. Since you are here, we would like to share our vision for the future of travel - and the direction Culture Trip is moving in.

Meaning: Similar to the English expression “to rain cats and dogs”; to rain a lot. Since it rains a lot in the Netherlands, there are equally A LOT of expressions about rain. Dutch people aren’t quite as scared of monsters as English speakers are! That’s because, in Dutch, monster means more than just a scary creature – it also means ‘sample.’ Monster meaning ‘monster’ comes from the Latin monstrum which has a similar meaning, while the word for ‘sample’ comes from monstrare, ‘to show.’Een Belg steekt een lucifer aan en blaast hem direct weer uit. “Zo”, denkt hij, “ik houd deze, want deze werkt.” Meaning: Meaning that you are chatting about nothing of importance or nothing in particular. 29. I can’t make any chocolate from that Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. There are two things I hate in this world... People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.